Geeta

I saw her again today. Little Geeta. The girl from the slum area where I volunteer. Geeta, who lost her mother and brother in a traffic accident. Just before I was about to leave Mumbai a couple of weeks back, we had the terrible news, and went to visit her at her home, where she lives with her grandmother and 5 other relatives in one small room. One of the most heartbreaking memories I will ever have. And then I boarded the plane for Europe.

Now I am back in Mumbai, and I met Geeta again. Quietly she sat there on the floor in class, listening, looking at the others, biting her pencil. After class, she gave me a drawing with a sun, blue sky and flowers in it. She pointed at a large yellow flower in her painting - Sunflower, she said. - I like them. My mother like them also. And then she sent me a shy smile, and waved goodbye as she left.

And like so many times before, going home in the car, my feelings overwhelms me. Thinking of Geeta, and all the thousands of Geetas who live in this city. The poverty. The harshness of their lives. And suddenly a moment of joy for a sunflower and a happy memory of a loving mother. I can not control my tears. I feel numb as I sit and stare out the car window. So many destinies. So many people who could do with a helping hand, only just a bit of extra support so they can make a better life for themselves.

We try to adjust - wherever we go, don't we? And I know I have been writing quite a lot about the road side in this city. Every trip brings something new, but right now I see only the sad part: the people living on the street, the small children knocking on the car window, begging for money...

But that is the strange thing here. Tomorrow, or even just in an hour, I might feel differently again. I might see something funny along the road and start to laugh and shake my head and think: - Oh, I love this crazy country India... Like seeing this guy, next to my car:

So, as a special treat for people outside India, who do not know what I look at when I drive around in Mumbai- here is an example:

Today, I must admit, I am trying to fight the feeling of hopelessness that has overwhelmed me. I am sitting there, sweaty and dirty, with running mascara on my cheeks and my hearth hurts. Because no matter how many people you can help, there are always so many more out there.

Well, I sigh. I dry my tears, close my eyes and I think of Geeta's sunflower. For hope for the future and a happy memory of the past. And in the end....

... right? And what can be better than reading again one of my favorite stories:

I hope you have a good week dear reader.

Count your blessings and enjoy your moments.

Ta ta from Mumbai. 

How to settle in to your adopted country?

- So, how did you settle really? she asks me via email, the woman who is now physically still in Europe, but mentally exactly where I was 2 years ago. She is preparing to leave her comfort zone behind - and move with her family across the world - to Mumbai, India..

And she is doing exactly what I was doing: searching, digging, scrolling, scanning and absorbing every bit of information she can find, in order to be as prepared as possible when they will move in a couple of months. 

I did that too. But even arriving like a bursting India - encyclopedia could not have prepared me for that first meeting with our new adopted country, India. 

Now, we have lived in Mumbai for almost 2 years, and I am the one being happy to share advice to prospective Mumbai expats. Recently I was asked by HiFX to contribute to their making transitions for expats easier - campaign and also add my experience to their Advice from Expat Experts - site. I did. 

So, how to settle in your new adopted country? Well, I can only talk for myself, and these are a few things that made the adjustments easier for me: 

1. Go with the flow: accept the fact that things are not the same as back home. Sometimes you have to let it go, and make the best of it. Try to focus on what you do like, and not to get stuck on what you don't like. 

2. Nurture your curious side and be open to get to know your new country; religion, language, culture, history, food... Think of it as a new and exciting world - just waiting to be explored by you!

3. Be open to new friendships, and do not fear putting yourself out there. Most expats are like you - far away from family and friends. For me, the network of new friends - both locals and expats - has meant the world!

 
4. Ask for help and advice from locals and other expats. Most are happy to share their experience, and a lot of useful knowledge is spread by word. The best way to get the best tips - is to ask around, I think.  

5. Accept that you will have some blue Mondays.. It's ok to curl up and just treasure the memories of your old life once in a while...just don't get stuck back there.. Enjoy your moment, live here and now - and make the most of your adventure. 

 Related posts you may also like and find useful: 

- How to spot a Mumbai expat - 7 signs to look for. - A friendly warning to people back home

- Our first 6 months in Mumbai - The different expat transition phases you might find yourself in
- Our first year in Mumbai - From complete chaos to weddings and summer parties..

So, dear reader: Have you done it? Settled in a new country? How was it for you? Please share your own experiences from moving, adapting and settling....

And PS: Yay! My "followers" - gadget finally seems to work!

Have a great evening:-) 

Ta ta from Mumbai!

"- What I will miss from Mumbai?"

Ok. Let me just immediately assure you: No. I. Am. Not. Leaving. Mumbai.

Well, I will go away for holiday in some weeks - home to Norway and home to Greece, and then I will be back home in India again. But the thing is: when I get back, many of my friends will not be here. Because they will leave Mumbai for good. And the goodbyes can be hard. That pain of hugging a friend for the last time, and not really knowing if or when or where we will meet again.

I know. I know. Expat or not, it can be tough to say goodbye, but for me it seems extra tough here, because the friends I have made, have become really close friends - (maybe a substitute for the friends and family from back home who are not here?). And in between farewell brunches and lunches and gatherings and parties, in between tears and tight hugs, we do manage to celebrate too. Celebrate the funny moments, the laughs and crazy things we have done together. Celebrate good friends and good times. Celebrate friendship. And as we hang out: the good stories are brought back to live, and then the discussions often turn in to Oh, I am gonna miss this and that and Oh, I am so not gonna miss this and that.

Some are happy to leave, some are sad and some are both. Some will miss the food (and that list of dishes is a long one, I tell you), and some will miss the Cash-on-delivery services. Some will miss their stake out cafe, the driver, the festivals and the shopping fabrics and clothes. Some will miss traveling in India, the warm climate, the lady tailor and the guy at the vegetable stall. Many will miss their friends - who either are leaving as well or who will stay behind. Most mention that they will miss people. People they have met through their time in Mumbai.

One afternoon I am in a coffee shop with my friend who is also getting ready to pack up and leave with her family. She is originally from New Delhi, and now after 4 years in Mumbai, they are being relocated to Singapore - Hm, What I will miss from Mumbai? She is thinking, looking out of the window, has another sip of her tea, and looks back at me:
- You know. I always thought I would jump of joy the day I would leave Mumbai, Eli. Dirty, dusty, polluted, with garbage slum and poverty. What was this? Awful. I thought I hated it. And yet. She is mine, this city. She is a part of me, and I can't really say why.   
And as we walk out in the hot hot humid Mumbai evening, she smiles, but still looks a bit sad as she hugs me: - What I'll miss from Mumbai? I'll miss you, my friend. And that is what it's about isn't it? The people. The friends. The good moments. That's what we should celebrate, every single step of the way. So, here's to my dear friends who are leaving and to those who are not..

A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand but touches your heart...  

Happy travels friends - and until we meet again:-)

Traveling is not just seeing the new, it is also leaving behind. Not just opening doors, also closing them behind you, never to return. But the place you have left forever is always there for you to see whenever you shut your eyes. 
Jan Myrdal

Sunset at Chowpatty - pic by my daughter:-) 

A desynchronized expat

No, no no... I close my eyes again. I turn the pillow. I turn myself. I count those sheep for the 11th time. I turn the duvet. I sigh. I get up and head for the washroom with my eyes closed ( following the theory that if I open them I will wake up for real) I stumble over some toys on the way back. Back to bed. I close my eyes. My mind wander off. My eyes open. And they stay open. I glance at the watch. 04.05. I am wide awake. Now what? Do I surrender or do I continue the fight? Ok, you win! Good morning sunshine! Good morning jet lag.

Yup. Jet lag. The spice of expat life. A spice that usually stays far away from me, luckily - but not this time! So, that is why I find myself at 4.30 am in the kitchen, sipping tea and googling "jet lag",  (or "desynchronizing" which is the medical term (!)). So, I read that it should be easier to travel from east to west (than from west to east)..HM, and AHA: The cure is to expose myself to daylight in the daytime, and avoid light at nighttime. I sip my tea and stare out the window. It is so dark out there. I had kind of forgotten about the Nordic winters with the short days... I will have to rush out soon, to chase that daylight! Light, the key to synchronizing that stubborn I-am-not-leaving-Mumbai - body clock of mine!

The Nordic winters - with short days, but with those amazing blue hours.. I go for a walk and enjoy the light and atmosphere. The Christmas lights and decorations are up, and add some extra magic, just like with the Diwali celebration in India. Good to be outside, and wonderful to get back inside, curl up in the sofa with a cup of cocoa, and light some candles. Here are a few more moments from my holiday, dear reader:

During the afternoon blue hours, and with the Christmas decorations up
- to bring some extra light. (and yes, that is a Christmas tree floating in the lake!) 

A few hours later in the afternoon: - dark - but with Christmas Stars above

Christmas decorated homes 

Want one of these outside your house?

Oh Joy: After a walk in the cold: catching up time with good old friends in a cafe (with a yummy bite:-))

And coming back inside: light some candles, make a cuppa, and finish my blogpost:-)

Oh well, dear reader. So, I am still working on that synchronizing over here! As a B person, I kind of like the late evenings you know, so the Rise and Shine at 4.05 is just not... quite me...:-) I hope you are fine wherever you are! Synchronized or desynchronized..:-) Chasing or not chasing - that daylight:-) All the best to you!  

7 signs that I am a Mumbai expat only

This post may be read as a warning to you folks back home ( for anyone else: just as a humble tribute to what India has taught me so far - *blinking the eye*)  - Because, yes, I might have changed - just a tiny little bit..So, be prepared back home! You may recognize me, by the following signs:

1. Clothes
The glitter&glam&bling element of my wardrobe has increased dramatically. You should be able to recognize me, but you just need to look beyond the golden sandals and the bright green colored kurta with glitter ornaments from the neck to my belly. Nope. Less is not more. More is more.

2. Time
This might come as a shock to you, if you knew me in my pre-India life. I might have adopted a more relaxed relationship with Time. You see, 12 o'clock Thursday does not necessarily have to be 12 o'clock Thursday. It can also be 3 o'clock Thursday, 5 o'clock Friday or next week. Go with the flow.

3. Dining
Try not to act surprised if I add some extra pepper or chili on the food. Fear not, if I rush off in a desperate search for masala, or if I suddenly start to sprinkle some fresh coriander on my dish - and probably on your dish too! My taste buds has adjusted to another palate, so the food back home might be a bit bland, now..

4. Driving
If you suddenly notice someone driving 1 cm from the back of your car, honking the horn like crazy, driving on the road-shoulder or accelerating when the signal turns yellow - in stead of reducing the speed - Well. That might be me, back home for vacation!

5. Shopping
5.1 You might see me looking Confused in the store, if there is no staff following me around, or available within 10 seconds after I need them. What kind of service is that? 
5.2 You might also find me looking Lost at the cashier. I have payed, and you see - I am waiting for someone to put my groceries into my bags for me. What? No one does that for you?! 

6. Queues
If you are standing patiently waiting for your turn in a neatly formed line (f.ex in a public washroom) - and you see a lady in kurta and golden sandals walking pass all of you and straight up to the front of the line.Yep. That might be me. Feel free to remind me of the local customs. Sorry, forgot myself there. 

7. Language
I have polished my English by adding phrases like: - I need to pre-pone that meeting ( opposite of postpone), - Please, do the needful! (do what you have to do) and adding "only" to the end of every second sentence I utter. It is just a habit I like.  - What can I do? I am on holiday only! 

Yes, 7 points- we are in India after all. But I have to add that I will not look away if we meet: I will look you in the eyes, and start to talk to you immediately whether it is on the street, in an elevator or on a bus. Life is too short not to catch up:-) I will bring color, spices, some Bollywood-moves and music! I will carry with me stories from India and show you pictures from amazing places and tell you about some wonderful people I have met. I might also a bit aggressively try to recruit you as a sponsor to support a child's education in Mumbai, because I have seen with my own eyes how just a little support can mean the world for some of these kids and their chances of making a better life for themselves.

So, you see where this is going right? To end this post in a more serious way, living in Mumbai has reminded me: to not take things for granted, to be appreciative of what we have, to be open and humble to life and to be happy here and now. To enjoy the present. And I have been reminded that things do not make you happy. But people and moments do! Ok, then - and maybe just a tiny bit of bling-bling on your blouse:-)

Hope you enjoyed my *blinking the eye* post today.

Good evening from Mumbai, dear reader!

Happy elections, Norway!

Here I am, sitting on a dirty straw mat on an even dirtier floor. The painting is coming off the wall and there is mold and fungus in every corner -  and in front of me: 20 smiling 12 year olds. We are at school, in one of the big slum areas in Mumbai.

So, we talk about events around the world and I tell them that elections are coming up in Norway this Monday. They get curious. A shower of questions. Yes, we have hospitals and medicines. Yes, the roads are good (believe me- compared to Mumbai they are! ), Yes, most kids in Norway have some toys to play with.

Little Geeta looks at me: - You have schools in Norway? - I nod: Yes, all kids go to school. She giggles and bursts out: - The people in Norway must be sooo happy! Oh, dear reader, I swallow hard and barely manage to nod and smile back.

Later, when they have group work, I sit and watch them chat and laugh. I know that some of them have siblings who dropped out of school. One has a sick dad and they have no money for the expensive medicine he needs. One has to go home after class to cook for 4 younger siblings. One is the son of a single mum who travels 2,5 hours every day to work for 9 hours, and then 2,5 hours to get home again (if the traffic is ok). One is the daughter of a single mum who works from home, making plastic hair clips, and is payed 25 rupee (2,5 NOK) for every 1000 she makes. I know that some of these kids, who live in the roughest parts, can not play outside, and that their parents have to follow them to the public toilets - because it is not safe for them to be out alone.

After class, the group of mums who come to pick them up, greet me with big smiles and kind words. Always time for a happy moment. I come home, and read my Norwegian on-line newspapers. So sorry, Norway - but right now it feels absurd to read about the election campaign and some of the things you discuss back home. And from the sideline in India: - do not forget to appreciate what we have: hospitals, medicine and health insurance, schools for all children, freedom to speech and to study what you want. Make some time in your everyday life to enjoy the moments and give some thoughts to what you are grateful for. Somewhere else in the world there are people who think that you are so lucky! You must be so happy!!! Are you?

Happy elections, Norway! 


PS: Yes, of course I did my duty. I gave my vote when I was in Norway in June. Here we are giving our votes, and the staff is taking care that we do it the proper way:-)  

Yes, found my party. Ready to submit The Envelope:-) 

Done! Protecting my precious vote, I hope:-) 

One year in Mumbai

Yes, we have now lived in Mumbai for over a year! And what a year it has been! After a long holiday in Norway and Greece, and now starting our second year- I look back, and be sure, dear reader, things are quite different this autumn than it was last year.. So, what comes first to my mind when I think back to:

August 2012: Chaos! We arrive in Mumbai, and it is Overwhelming. We are still in a hotel, because the apartment is not ready after all. It is raining all the time and I wake up some mornings thinking: What have we done?! One day, at a traffic light, there is an elephant next to our car! I learn that there really are a lot of cows in the streets in India, and sometimes also an elephant.

September 2012: We see the amazing colorful Ganesha festival, and I learn that Indians are very including. We move into an apartment = new levels of chaos. I learn that 11 am Wednesday does not necessarily mean 11 am Wednesday here, that the best meat is in a shop 2 hours drive away, and I discover COD. Oh heaven!

October 2012: The Powai Explorers is up and running, and I learn new things like why the Jains do not go out after dark,  how to wear your belly with pride and what a sudrah is.

Powai explorers on tour:-)

November 2012: I found "my" NGO. We celebrate Diwali and go to Goa for the first time. I realize that learning Hindi will be a big challenge and I write my very first blogpost. Yeeey!

Desember 2012: We have wonderful Christmas parties and lunches with new friends, and I hunt for Christmas decorations. I learn to try to bargain hard and long at the markets. I have some moments I will never forget, and some funny Indian moments in Malaysia.

A moment I can not forget

January 2013: My Greek in-laws are visiting. We go to Dharavi. I learn not to take no for an answer, and I learn to be more pushy when standing in a non-existing- ladies-washroom-line.

Kids in Dharavi

February 2013: Friends from Norway come to visit and we have a guru next door. NRK visits the NGO. I learn the names of all the kids in my class, and I learn how to make Dal and fresh lemonade- Indian way.  

NRK at the NGO

A Guru next door... 

March 2013: My parents are visiting. Our library is born. The crazy Holi-festival is on, and I learn not to wear my usual clothes during this holiday. I also learn that everything I had ever heard about FRRO is true.

Our NGO library is born! Yey!!

April 2013: This month I learn what a pineapple bush looks like and how cashew nuts are harvested. The backpackers are visiting. I learn that April is a steaming hot month in Mumbai, and that indoor activities also can be nice.

The cutest pineapple plant..

May 2013: A month filled with joyful parties and sad goodbyes. I am on an emotional roller coaster this month,  dear reader: NGO summerparty, 17mai, a wedding... I learn that I have made many really good friends in Mumbai, and that it is going to be sad to leave - even though only for 2 months.

A wedding in India

NGO summerparty:-)

I hope you enjoyed this glimpse of my first year in Mumbai, dear reader. I am ready for the second one, and you are heartily welcome to come along. Stay tuned for more tales, and thanks for popping in.

The Two Hammocks' Tale

Dear reader,
The world is full of coincidences, they say, and today I sure had mine. And it has been on my mind all evening. Or what do you say about this moment:

I am sitting in the car, going home after a trip to Navi Mumbai. I have dived into an email from a friend. She is at Goa right now, and she loves it - because this year they sat up a hammock in the yard. So, she is describing how nice it it, with the view, and how she can lie there with a book and admire the green leaves on the tree above.

I read and I smile at her enthusiasm, and then I look up and out the window. I stare right in to a ... What? I can't believe it - a hammock, well a sort of a hammock that is. A baby is lying inside, and a little girl, maybe his bigger sister?  is standing next to it, pushing it slowly back and forth. Maybe trying to get him to go to sleep? -  in that busy traffic junction we are at. Oh, dear reader, the everyday moments here are crazy. Well, a hammock is not just a hammock to me anymore after today, I'll tell you that much....

A hammock:

And a hammock:

I hope you have had a good day, dear reader, and enjoy the start of the weekend wherever you are. 

Good evening from Mumbai!   

Back home to Mumbai

- I was waiting so much for you to come back. I was counting the days. I was waiting and I say to myself every day: now they will come in fifteen days, now they will come in ten days...

Aaaaah, how can we not feel good about a welcome-home-greeting like that? Yes, we are back in India, back home that is! After a long summer break, we have returned to Mumbai -  waaaay more experienced expats than last year...Oh yes. And what a great feeling - to come home, to friends who were waiting and to people who were happy that I finally managed to tear myself loose from the Aegean Sea, the beaches, ouzo, kalamarakia and the Greek Gods. - What took you so long? 

Yes, it is funny to think about that one year ago we arrived for the first time: the new fresh-off-the-plane-expat-family who didn't really know what to expect... - a bit blown away by traffic, cows, smells, colors - well, in short - by India. Now, I know. And I like it, and I am ready for more. More exploring, travels and everyday adventures in this bustling city. More Mumbai. More India.

Hello home, it is nice to be back!

A last peaceful Greek moment before departure:-)

Walk-in closets and a dream of a dress

-Eeeeverybody wants walk - in closets now! sighed our friend, working late for the 5th time this week. His company helps Norwegians remodel their houses, building shelves, lockers, wardrobes, doors - and walk-in-closets... The latest biiig thing obviously. Apparently every lady has a dream of her own walk-in closet with hundreds of pair of shoes and a cloth collection for each season.  Hm. I didn't really have that dream before going to India as an expat, and our stay there has certainly not awaken any sleeping dream for walk-ins now either. 

I thought of Mantasha, and I told my friends about that little girl, who at the NGO summer party, shyly pulled my arm, so she could show me... - this is my nice dress, do you like it? She turned around so I could admire it from all angles. That was the only beautiful dress she owned, but she had a dream of getting another one, - a yellow one, she whispered to me. - A yellow one with some silver on, that would be wonderful, she smiled. I think she was picturing that dress...

In their best clothes...

A new dress - a dream for some?

Commercial for walk-in closets. - a dream for some?

Living in India has not made me less aware of the differences in the world, to put it like that. And even though I enjoy fabrics, clothes and shoes too, it makes an impression to listen to Mantasha share her dream. The differences become very close, if you know what I mean. The dreams suddenly have a name and a face and they are right there in front of me: modest dreams about a new dress, a new pair of shoes, shampoo and education. That makes me humble. 

Next month I will meet them all again, when our holiday in Greece comes to an end. But first I will enjoy some more weeks of sea, culture and yoummie food. Have a wonderful day dear reader, and thanks for reading my blog:)  

6 Memorable Mumbai Moments

This morning I was, as usual, sitting with my cup of tea in the kitchen: looking out at our green garden. A quiet, peaceful time of a rather rainy grey summer day in Bergen. I closed my eyes, and -bam- my mind went back to Mumbai. With some distance to our year there: what was the first memories that came to my mind?

1. The first time I met the kids at the NGO where I work as a volunteer.

2. The arrival of the famous Guru, who stayed at our neighbors'. And then later finding out that we had, in our Powai Explorers group, made a puja for the same Guru some months earlier! Crazy!

3. This little girl...

4. Thinking about the NGO summer party made me laugh, and also brought some tears...

5. These guys..

6. The first time the kids got to take a book from our little library home..

.
And now, dear reader, it is getting difficult.. In a way our Mumbai year is an eeeendless stream of Moments. Happy, sad, angry, funny, unbelievable Mumbai moments. Moments with my hubby, with the expat teens, with new dear friends, and moments of exploring, of laughter, of tears...

I take another sip of my tea, grateful for the memorable moments, and soooo ready for more! Cheerish your moments dear reader, and good evening from Bergen!

- and after rains comes sun..:)

Behind the Beautiful Forevers

So, I went to the NGO office for the last time before the summer. The heat and humitidy is almost unbearable now, and mixed with the smell from sewage I was leaving the office quite quickly - hurrying through the dark alleyways. Suddenly there were two goats in front of me, almost blocking the alleyway - like a goat gathering of some sort. A black and a white, with flies all around, chewing on something and staring at me.

Before I even could start to push my way through, I heard giggle and someone shouting: - maybe they think you are the third goat only, Miss teacher? The smiling kids appeared from a doorway, and I recognized the one boy from my class. He was laughing and laughing. Aha! I started to laugh too! What a funny thing!

You see, dear reader, some months ago, we had read the fairytale about the 3 Billy goats and the scary Troll (Bukkene Bruse) and that was what he remembered! In an instant of a moment! So we couldn't stop laughing. There we were - in a smelly dark slum path - remembering the funny 3 fairytale goats who happily bounched up a bright green and flowery hillside! Contrasts?!

In contrast to the green hillside....

... where the 3 Billy goats lived happily ever after.... 

Back home I was still amazed by that moment. I sat down to read the online news from Europe. Of course I couldn't concentrate - on the article about the shopping mall who will charge their costumers for parking, the piece about getting in bikini-shape within 4 weeks. It all seemed unreal - and I could only think about the goats and the giggling kids... And how their voices are never heard and how the weirdest unimportant voices are heard... Contrasts!

If you should want to hear their voices? And I have mentioned this book before: Read Behind The Beautiful Forevers!  It is from the area where the NGO works. The goats are there, Priyanka is there and the other giggling kids are there - behind the beautiful hotels, the office buildings, the colorful gardens, the swimming pools, the spa and the tip top restaurants.

... a must-read ...

Fancy new buildings.. 

.. and the not so fancy behind...

Yes, I do look forward to go to my home country/-ies for summer holiday.  I havent been back there for a year. Still the expatlife in India, including the kids in the slum, has got under my skin now- so maybe I will see things differently back home? I don't know. What I do know is that some of the last things I will see through the small airplane window, before my plane takes off,  is the tall classy hotels and then the areas behind them, and my mind will go to the people who live there.

Bye bye from Mumbai! 

Because, after all, it is all about the people isn't it?

Have a wonderful weekend dear reader! Enjoy the moment!